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In the quest for sexual pleasure, we too often focus squarely on one another's genitals as if those few square inches hold the only key to ecstasy. Paying attention primarily to these parts may work fine for casual flings but even in months-long affairs, not to mention long term relationships, sex runs the risk of turning stale unless partners pay attention to each other and to more than just the vulva, penis or anus. One of my favorite poems by Pablo Neruda is called "Your Feet".

It has these beautiful lines in it about why he adores his lover's feet - not because of how they look, but because of the way they carry and support her as she walks along the earth and, of course, that they ultimately brought her to him.

I once Secret Messaged on Twitter a link to this poem to my own partner, who notoriously makes fun of my bony feet when they poke him at night as I wrap my leg around him and fall asleep. Always the sensitive one, I told him that I want him to love my feet the way he loves the rest of me - if not for their boniness then for the way they carry me home to him day after day. Is it any wonder, then, that I want to sing the praises of feet and how I think we neglect them a bit too often in our sexual and romantic lives?

Certainly I cannot be the only woman who grew up watching The Cosby Show and noticed how Cliff regularly massaged Clair's feet on the sofa after she came home from work. Some years ago, I remember hearing that even Oprah remarked on her show about what a loving gesture that had been and why it mattered to see such a warm display of love on television.

Feet are sometimes seen as dirty and it's not unusual for people to feel embarrassed about their feet or even to pull them away or hide them from the notice of someone they like. I once pulled mine away all too quickly from someone I very much liked only because someone had previously made fun of my feet.

It's too bad, of course, because feet are incredibly sensitive and massaging them can feel lovely. As I wrote about in my book Because It Feels Good , there are myriad ways to enjoy in each other's bodies - and not just the genitals. Why not, for example:. If you're prone to tough skin, your dermatologist might be able to prescribe a cream to soften your feet. If your feet are only mildly scratchy or thick in places, then scrubbing with a pumice stone and sleeping with socks over your cream-slathered feet may help them to feel soft and sensual.

Suck on your own! I had my hands and wrists painted in India a couple of years ago and it gave me a new perspective on them. Any part of your body can be attended to in a way that enhances your relationship, your love life or sex life. Enjoy these tips and create some of your own to make your feet a neat part of your day-to-day pleasures. You make a good point and my Honey couldn't agree more. I really like cats but was never allowed to have one. Just the other day my wife told her friend: If he had a cute little kitty to play with, do you think he'd be giving me foot massages?

What an interesting comment! It's nice that you and your wife have been able to find a connecting form of affection, particularly one that isn't genital-focused.

Though there's certainly nothing wrong with genital-focused sex or affection, it seems that many couples benefit from a broader array of ways to express intimacy. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Fine way of describing, and pleasant piece of writing to get information about my presentation subject matter, which i am going to deliver in college.

I used to work at the Kinsey Institute, back in the days of the unbecoming controversies I don't mean the original controversies, rather those of the late s , and it's nice to see a blogger here who is associated with it. In fact, I had a stint of doing the research for and writing up of the syndicated newspaper column, as it was then, and I see in your bio that you do a podcast of a column now. If someone starts messing around with my feet during intimacy, I'm going to be distracted and will feel a little uncomfortable.

It's not that I dislike my feet; they are fine, but they are not frisky. I actually remember a period of time in my early sexual-growth where I was struggling to learn to have an orgasm by a mans stimulation alone no help from me at all.

One night my husband was performing oral sex on me and I could get "almost there" but there I'd stay I'd begin to stress about it inside my head Just by chance he happened to move a hand over my foot and begin to massage it Ever since then, if I have too much on my mind and just cant relax After reading this article, I feel so fortunate.

My boyfriend claims he has a "foot fetish," but actually, he says he never wanted to touch any woman's feet the way he does mine. He gives me pedicures, paints my toenails, regularly massages my feet with lotion, even if just for a few minutes. He kisses my feet He has gone so far as to place my feet on his, ahem, private area! We joke light-heartedly about these gestures, but I guess there is more potency to them than I realized.

I only hope he continues to adore my feet as I age. I've been looking forever for someone to relate with, your post describes me perfectly!

I have no one to talk to about this I confided in a friend and was made fun of now I feel ashamed! I'm a man 55 married 35 years an this has always given me a great amount of pleasure. Until my friend of 25 years made embarrassing jokes about it! Please email mail me back would like to hear your thoughts. I had a very similar experience with a friend of mine. When I confided in him about the pleasure I get from kissing and massaging my wife's feet he made several jokes in front of people about my fetish.

Anyway, a few weeks later he actually confessed to me that he also had a foot fetish and apologised for making fun of me - foot fetish is more popular than you may think.

This is my fundamental problem with psychology. Having a PHD does not mean you know how all people think and feel. Unlike Physics,Mathematics and other real sciences and engineering this subject matter is too subjective. Dear Debbie, as a foot fetishist and a psychologist, I would like to congratulate you for talking so openly about this preference. Unfortunately many ladies feel so uncomfortable even to talk about it.

I really enjoyed your article, it was different. You covered some delightful ways to enjoy foot foreplay with a lover. One that I didn't see here is tickling.

Lightly dancing one's nails along the soles of a lover's bare feet can result in intense excitement for many. For some it is pure torture, but for others it is truly enticing. My wife learned this about me and uses it to her definite advantage. My wife and many other past female partners enjoy having their feet massaged and toes sucked as well. That's not the only body part that I'm fixated with, partialism, but it's guaranteed to make your woman happy. Not to mention the ograsms that go with it.

Yet others I've been with great enjoy having their feet caressed, touched gently, admired, kissed and licked. If a woman's feet are soft, well taken care of, her nails short and painted, I too find enjoying them relaxing and yeah, exciting.

Get Listed on Psychology Today. The Pleasures of Sex. The surprising way your feet can lead to more pleasurable, connecting sex. Why not, for example: If your feet are only mildly scratchy or thick in places, then scrubbing with a pumice stone and sleeping with socks over your cream-slathered feet may help them to feel soft and sensual - Drag your soft tootsies over your partner's back not with your full weight on them, of course, unless your weight proportions to each other are such that your partner likes having you walk on his or her back - Suck on your partner's toes , or your partner can suck on yours assuming they are clean, of course; to add a little flavor, consider Tulip's brown sugar or mint julep flavored body sugar.

Steve Mason PT Blogger. Reply to comment Psychology Today Submitted by femdom chat on September 2, - 9: I used to work at the Kinsey Submitted by Anonymous on June 1, - 8: Maybe feet will be a new erogenous frontier that I will discover in old age.

Submitted by Anonymous on June 1, - 7: Feet and sex Submitted by mlee on June 2, - 6: This is my fundamental Submitted by Anonymous on June 4, - 9: I take escorts services for Submitted by Sydney escorts on October 20, - 5: I take escorts services for better sex and maximum pleasure. Submitted by Silverpilen on August 16, - 7: A ticklish subject Submitted by Tommy on February 4, - 7: I love to caress and lick my Submitted by Anonymous on May 5, - 9: I love to caress and lick my girl's feet during sex especially toes get her crazy.

I'm the foot master! Submitted by Gregorio on October 15, - 5: Excellent Submitted by Michael on January 11, - 8: Some women find any sort of foot affection as awkward and weird, some find it uncomfortable.

It is another form of adoration and can be pleasurable. Post Comment Your name. E-mail The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. Notify me when new comments are posted. Replies to my comment. Because It Feels Good: You are reading The Pleasures of Sex. Balancing Time Together vs.

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